Meanwhile, I’ve also upgraded my blog software to the latest Wordpress, so hopefully crossposting between it and my livejournal still works.

I mean, can’t say I’m terribly broken up about having to leave, but for a retail job, it’s probably the best one could ever hope for, atleast if you’re a nerd like me, and it definitely honed my computer tech skills. The employee discount was sweet too.

Still, time for the Computer Stop arc of my life to end, and the College arc to start.

On the comedy side of the headline, turns out my local anime store of choice, Anime Raku (formerly Anime Kingdom,) has been buying google ads. I know this because they’ve run on my page. If you see there ad on the sidebar, click though so I get some money back

Ultraklystron - On Game

BTW, no hooks on this one - just 64 bars of rap at 83.5 bpm. It’s already pretty dark lyrically, but I wanted to try to work in the framework of Fiasco’s “Put You On Game” in a fashion true the original. The lyrics after the cut/more!

On Game
by Karl Olson

i am the excess and material, the unsustainable
self image and ideal that is unattainable
i am the insanest fool that you all follow
i’m the lies that the world forces to you swallow
i’m the promise made to you that was actually hollow
i’m the impulse that made you sit down and wallow
in the filth that i created by guiding your hands
down deep below where you sit, down deeper than sands
i am the reason that your wife and daughter want botox
the reason that you got that enzyte don’t act shocked
i’m the supermodel that starves to death in brazil
i’m the razor that you use cut yourself with just to feel
i’m the game, i’m the streets, the bully beatin up geeks
who then turns around and sells the same victim some heat
i’m the news anchor who put his manifesto on air
who inspires copycats without a thought or a care
i’m the stolen test answers, the plagarized papers
the finnish tracker artist who you’ll steal from later
also steal from the thief, also steal from kids
then I steal your beliefs, and your will to forgive
but you’ll continue to live, and you’ll see what I did
i’m the infestion of which you would like to be rid
the contagion educating a whole nation of youth
to act stupider and ignorant with grammar so loose
i make it work every time, and I make it flow free
because i don’t really care if it’s a fake ID
the state run liquor store, the vodka energy drinks
that cost less than water - that’s a critical link
why even get a red bull when the sparks cost less
and the later might get some cute thing to undress
and PS I’m the reason that you’re so obsessed
with opposite sex past the point of rest
i tell you you’re immortal, sell you smokes and booze
i rob you blind til your dead, then sell your bones for glue
then sell that glue to your friends, so they get can high too
tell ‘em to ghost ride the whip, so they can soon join you
i’m the man with high score you can’t ever beat
cause i’m the blood on your hands everytime that you eat
i’m the conspiracy that haunts you in your sleep
i’m the NHK that’s making you into NEETs
i am the lolita complex that permeates shows
asks you to sit over here, yeah you know that goes
i am the villain that always has a purpose and use
ain’t a person here whose not lookin for an excuse
i’m the do it tomorrow, i’m passing the buck
i’m the emo kid sorrow, i’m the streak of bad luck
i’m the gravity you brings you down and leaves you to drown
when you choose mess around and clown
and that choice is your own, you could choose to rise
and not rely on your lies, choose to answer the cry
made by your insides, to finally take the blame
sacrifice for a moment, and get out of the game
finally make a change, and get rid of the chain
that hangs around your neck like an energy drain
the kryponite of your spite replaced for a light
and that’s real talk friend, no I’m not being trite
but you gotta build up, if you want to feel love
have to clean out the wounds, need to finally heal up
and i’d love to heal cuts, but that’s not my role
i’m still here to drag you back down into the fold
i’m doing it for the lols, i’m the internet troll
i’m the diamonds and gold that you trade for you soul
i’m the emptiness inside, the infinite hole
That no thing can fill, cause I suck it in whole

[/emo wall of text]

I’d embed it, but Live Journal seems to balk at the embeds.

BTW, the movie is quite good. Really a film about nerdcore as a genre and not so as much about the artists who make it, and the result of that works very well in my opinion. I’m almost shocked how nerdy I am looking at it from the outside looking perspective at points - I’m *so* otaku, it’s nuts. Plus, my nerdcore friends and girlfriend all come off as awesome (especially my girlfriend, but I am biased :))

So, if you can catch Nerdcore For Life, do so. It’s time and money well spent.

Download It Here.

Why? Because I can. Also, it features a song (and a bit) at the end that was originally intended for Haven (the and-a-bit was meant to be on Solace) but that I cut do to time constraints, and that I then forgot about until recently. Thus, a DJ mix is born. Btw, the song at the end is named “Maho” after a character from Onegai Teacher. Almost makes me think I could/should to an EP/LP of Drum n’ Bass tracks named after characters from harem anime, but on the other hand, I do have other stuff to do, like rehearse.

Honestly, this is not a rick roll, though maybe I should have done that too.

My contribution is admittedly problematic at points (over-referential flow style,) but Synthead lays down some sick beats and synths. Definitely fun, and something I should probably do again. Maybe with more freestyle and less cover lyrics. Might keep the Lil Wayne flow though - it’s fun.

My old circles of friends have radically rearranged themselves, people have left, people have split off - sometimes under happy circumstances, sometimes under somewhat more dramatic ones. Many people who I thought would be key friends on into my old age have disappeared into the ether (ok, I’m sure I could e-stalk them and shoot ‘em an email, but well, I don’t.) Shoot, even the places where I hang out have changed - my favorite arcade is long gone, the anime store I shop at has new owners and I stopped going to the anime club before I even had my AA done. I’ve gone from being a community college student cranking out his first nerdcore album and working on anime reviews to a community college graduate looking for a school to transfer to finish a 4-year-degree because he knows music is not as likely to pay the bills at the end of the day as a CS degree. I barely write for Toon Zone anymore - pretty much only doing con coverage because well, I do still go to cons, though even there, I’m not sure if the passion is there in the same way anymore. I went from being obscenely prolific as a musician to somewhat more constrained and picky to needing a break from it to sort of playing with it again, but as much more personal, hobby-like endeavor. I went from being a guy who kind of attempted dating a few times (and who failed hard at it,) to someone who has, barely, managed to maintain a very rewarding long-distance relationship with a wonderful, beautiful woman. In short, I’ve grown up a up a bit, but I still feel a bit like this Weezer refrain:

“The world has turned, and left me here.”

And well, some of things that have stayed stationary aren’t the things I would have wanted to stay still. I’ve certainly taken longer with school than I should have, and than I wanted to have - I’ll be lucky to finish my degree before the middle of 2010 - that’s 8 years for a 4-year-degree. Shows I blogged about over three years ago are still unlicensed, and well, I know by this point, in this industry where one major company is dead (Geneon) and another maybe on the brink (ADV,) they will probably never turn up legally in the US.

Of course, on the flipside, maybe not all that much has changed either. I may have a 90 something DVD backlog, but the fact is I drop in any of those discs, and I’m still enraptured by the content. Once I had the antibiotics in my system, I was gradually feeling ok enough to watch some Genshiken (the boxset of which I snagged back in 2007 at Kumoricon,) and well, it still speaks to me. I maybe less Sasahara now, and more Kousaka (except my girlfriend loves anime and games in addition to fashion,) but the emotional connection is still there. Additionally, between being laid up and reading those old blog posts, I can honestly say that while my circles of friends of have changed, what we do isn’t a whole lot different - we go to arcades (RIP Illusionz, Gameworks needs a Para Para machine,) we go to restaurants afterwords, we go to movies and we hang out. I may no longer be otaku or nerdcore TO THE EXTREME - I think 8 cons last year did some long term damage to all that, but the fact is that’s still a part of me.

And well, as I look to the future I know more will change. Before the end of 2008 I should be at or atleast accepted to a university to finish my degree, I’ll likely be out of my parents’ house, my parents might very well be in a new house, and well, as such, most every tie I have right now will probably be gone in the next year, atleast in a day to day sense. I’ll probably be in a new city, on my own, in a new school, making new friends, eating at new places, discovering new things. It’s sort of emotionally exhausting past a certain point as well, or atleast is to reflect on it. However, while it’s overwhelming, it’s because I know that by the time all is said and done, I’ll be a man with a degree, a real job (hopefully,) and well, that era of even relating to something like Genshiken or Honey and Clover or as anything more than “I can remember being that guy - that sucked/rocked” will be gone. At that point, as long as I can dodge relating to Koshiro from Koi Kaze, I’ve got it made.

Well, I’ll have it made if somethings don’t change, like Danielle. I doubt I’ll ever find another person who can jump between Aqua Teens, Loveless, Velvet Underground, xxxHolic, Harry Potter, Atlus games, Kanye West, Tim and Eric, hexidecimal HTML color jokes, internet memes and more. I’d venture that’s a pretty unique taste/interest set. And I hope for once, I keep in touch with atleast some of my current friends - I’ve known some of them for closing on 8 years now. That’s pretty much the longest I’ve known people. Maybe that’s a sign they’re worth knowing in the long term, even if they aren’t local to me anymore. I mean, it’s not like it’s hard to keep in touch in an era of constant connection to communication.

To future me, who will inevitably come back and read this blog post in a few years, you better have gotten off your can and done what you’ve gotta do. If you’re still working computer retail and living with your folks, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t “become an hero”, but recognize that you failed. FLUNKED, even. And yeah, I know those memes and references are dated future me, but don’t act like you didn’t laugh at it at the time.

PS: Oh, technology’s gotten awesome since I’ve started writing a blog though, so that’s one change I’m all about no matter what. Yay for having a laptop with more power than the computer I wrote all of my pre-nerdcore music on (yet uses vastly less energy,) and then owning a desktop that’s several times more powerful than that, with the knowledge that by the time I’ll need to do an upgrade to my computer, I’ll probably be replacing it with something that uses half the wattage, yet provides me with about 16 times more processing capacity (if the program is multithreaded.) Oh, and multi-gigabyte flash media. 16 gigabytes for 50 dollars? Ah yeah…

I bet future me will be laughing at this point, as he reads this post on a solar-powered quantum computer with a holographic display and terabytes of hybrid flash/DNA storage.