Though, these days, I’d rather be in school. I hate missing lectures, even when they are just the professor reading a pdf or powerpoint he posts online anyway. Being out for a day is one thing, but I just can’t enjoy the break how I used to. I mean, when you’re only in lecture 3 days a week anyway, I think I get a decent clip of leisure time in anyway except for when there is a big paper or project or test pending. When you’re this sick, I can’t even really get much work done on that anyway. Between feeling sick from the cold and feeling woozy from the cold meds, I can’t focus that well. I’m surprised at my coherence currently.

I’m taking a nap.

The CD/Cassette boombox that I’d specifically wanted for Christmas whirs gently while I listened blistering solos on cheap KOSS headphones. Lying in bed, I ponder what I’d have to do in class the next day. I’d probably blown off some homework, likely because it felt trivial, and the punishment for skipping more than 4 assignments seemed just as trivial. Specifically, being held in for the monthly bonus recess didn’t mean much when most of the class made a point to pick on me anyway. The separation wasn’t that hard on me, and only my very last teacher for the last of 6th grade inspired any achievement out of me.

Oddly though, it would be the music that listened to late into the night that bridged the gap between myself and the other students. I eventually brought my guitar to school, on which I had been dutifully learning various songs. I wasn’t more than half way through stumbling through “Smells Like Teen Spirit” or something like that before it was obvious to me that whatever the other students had thought of me for the past 2 years had evaporated. Any other weirdness I exuded was superseded by musical talent, what little there was at that point.

Thus, through out Junior High and High School, that was the icebreaker. If I didn’t bring my guitar on the first day of classes, it’d find it’s way to the campus eventually, and I’d play a few songs and make a few friends. Slowly but surely, I didn’t even need that. It was the stepping stone to creating my own confidence, because even with out a demonstration of skill, I knew I that I could do something cool. I learned to be assertive, friendly and outgoing, and I made a menagerie of radical friends because of it. I didn’t keep all of them, but they were all wonderful while I had them.

Truthfully, I miss the simple focus that came with listening to a CD. No browser 30 tabs open, no apps, just CD player, with at most 80 minutes of music, whirring gently. I suppose that’s any generation’s privilege – to miss the things they used to have, even with the imperfections that came with them. I’m sure some of the iPod generation will miss the single purpose and non-connected nature of the old mp3 players.

Anyway, my throat is raw – I think I’m some kind of sick. I cut lectures for extra sleep. I am trying to avoid the doctors, mainly because I’d have to learn how to use the school insurance system. I’m bureaucracy-adverse, so I would love to just sleep it off. However, homework calls me from pure recovery, so I should probably get some nyquil now and call it a day. At least I’ve pretended to work by posting this.

I’ll end on amusing piece of dialogue:

“What’s your school like?”

“What’s it like? I never really thought about it. It’s on top of this mountain, so it feels kind of isolated and lonely up there sometimes, even though that’s also why it has a pretty great view.”

Life is only stranger than fiction because life can give you the chills when it’s too close to fiction. Then, it’s like a forbidden wall between worlds was broached.

Hmm, that’s three sentences. I wonder if my prof appreciates the explicitly meta writing style that I’m employing, or whether he finds cliche and overdone.

Anyway, I wrote some music, and yes, it is about the same stuff I’ve been blogging about for the last week. (I bet that is even more annoying to the professor.)

Ultraklystron vs. Juno – Focus (Remix-Cover)

Ultraklystron – Katawa Shoujo

See article title.

Yeah, instead I was treated to an amped up version of some of my own experiences with surreal fight scenes interspersed. I could spell that out, but the people who know me probably get it, and the people who don’t know me aren’t owed details. A lot of the plot points and best lines might as have been shuriken or piano wire. When they hadn’t been said/done to me, I’m the one who had said/done them. It almost violated the film’s sanctity. I figured that at worst, my critical side would’ve been picking apart the special effects, and best I would’ve just been enjoying the story. Instead, I was pretty much just indexing actions and lines against my own experiences past a certain point. It was unnatural.

I wish I’d read the comic. I might have saved a lot of good people some trouble since my life isn’t as warm as the film’s end. The things I can take from it are lessons I was already taking from the rest of this week’s self-inflicted emotional roller-coaster. The good endings come from doing things for me while still being considerate of the perspective and feelings of others, even when I can’t fully fathom that viewpoint. It’s a pretty odd set things to take to heart in someways.

Might as well watch Ano Natsu’s second episode and see if that’s a kick in the ribs too.

This isn’t a political statement either (Baha’is are banned from participating in partisan politics after all,) it’s a simple application of the categorical imperative. If you can ban one type of speech from the internet because it threatens the livelihood or comfort of one group that is otherwise fully capable of protecting themselves, there is no philosophical reason that shouldn’t be applicable in any similar instance, and that seems intrinsically broken. The lack of due process in these laws only makes that worse as it’d be up to the accused to prove their innocence rather than the accuser to prove the guilt of the accused. The possibility for abuse seems close to limitless, and the odd splits between foreign and national websites seems entirely ignorant of how websites are hosted in the modern world. Thus, regardless of any ideology beyond reason and functionality, these seem like objectively negative and ill-conceived laws.

I should mention I say all of this in spite of the fact that people pirate my music constantly (and when no money changes hands, I don’t care much because I doubt I really lost a sale in that instance,) including for-profit Russian pay download sites that sell my music without paying me royalties. I would benefit in that one instance, even as an independent artist, from SOPA/PIPA/OPEN passing. Justice would be served if that site was shut down, and/or they were ordered to turn over any proceeds from selling music without my permission.

Unfortunately, much of the rest of the internet would likely be so paranoid about linking to any content without explicit permission it’d grind to a halt. Getting my name out to people is difficult if the sites I post content to have to dramatically alter their operations to comply with these laws. Without a reliable way to promote myself across the internet, my ability to find my niche audience is dramatically injured.

Oh, and I know all the legislation acts in different ways, and there might even be enough exemptions that someone like me wouldn’t be affected in regards to my outward business. Alas, none of these laws can ever truly stop those who want to pirate media or counterfeit brand names, or rather, for them do so effectively might damage free speech in most instances. It’s a digital, democratized society, and we all have computers on our desk whose potential is effectively infinite in regards to creation and distribution, or at the very least, the only limit is the person behind the keyboard. It’s only going to be more intense as 3D printing gets cheaper and more precise. Want that that designer bracelet? Print it. Shoot, innovate on the existing design to make it more personal, cooler, better fitting and generally more useful. You can’t tell me that doesn’t sound radical yet exciting, and this is a world we are about to enter. Maybe there is even a market for selling branded designs for home recreation, but if there isn’t, that doesn’t mean the technology should be banned nor should it be ham-stringed by some kind of DRM-system that gets in the way of honest use.

To put it another way, I know the idea that I can sell music and perhaps one day even merchandise is a bit dated as we near an era of home replicators. However, I would never risk free expression on the off chance I make a buck off of it, and I certainly wouldn’t want such a thing to be law. Free expression is why I can write music, write blog posts, have interesting things to read online and so on.

Anyway, check in on Thursday for a decidedly fluffier and less weighty blog post.

Clearly, after I put my next album out along with Nursehella’s and Rai Kamishiro’s respective albums, I think I can take some time off.

Or I have to try to bring that 175 days up to 183, I.E.: over half a year.

Gotta wait 5 weeks or more to replace the passport? First world problem.

Kickstarter needs about 180 dollars a day at this rate to be funded on time? First world problem.

That said it would mean a lot to me if you could make this happen. It’s a bit of a domino effect thing. If Rai’s album is properly funded, she can then properly promote it (rather than needing a job to pay for replication and recording, which then gets in the way of promotion, which means less copies sold,) and since I did the instrumentals, production and mastering, part of the proceeds of her album sales go to me, and so help fund a CD release of my next album.

In a greater sense, it told me there was a bright future for the alma matter of my youth. As much as I slacked off there, and as ambivalent I have been at points about my time there and whether it had been worthwhile, it suddenly seemed obvious to me that yes, if not directly for me, for those who benefitted in my wake, yes, it was worth it. Besides, it did remind me, for the first time in a while, just how much I had benefitted from it, how good it was for me to have gone there, and how much care I’d really recieved from my teachers and the staff because I saw it reflected in those students. It reminded me of some of the great times I had there, and that really, I had been focusing in my recollections of place somewhat negatively for no reason. Those were good years.

While there are a number changes that all seem to becoming together at once for me, this clarified and underlines these are good things.

There is hope, and there always has been.

tl;dr: congradulations.

Aki Con 2010 artist panel part 1
Aki Con 2010 artist panel part 2
Aki Con 2010 artist panel part 3

Still doesn’t make up for how awkward that weekend was otherwise (con organization is a oxymoron sometimes, and opportunities usually arise at inopportune times.) However, it wasn’t absolutely without fun, and hopefully, the videos generated have something of interest to my dozen fans.

*=only one Power Ranger, but he’s also Vash the Stampede.

In more recent news, I saw Donald Glover live last night. It was fantastic, and a reminder that since I have some spare time, I should get on remixing some more of his acapellas. In general, I think a little “Ultraklystron remixTAPE” might be due during my semester break. If any of you have any suggestion of artists with acapellas I should ruin, comment, tweet, email or whatever. Hit me on Diaspora if you’re on the cutting edge like that.

Anyways, I need all my fan(s) to be aware that I have an upcoming song for the first ever Nerdcore Now compilation. If that’s not incentive enough, Beefy, Death*Star and Supercommuter will also be representing with many other good (read: there is quality control on this compilation) artists. It’s a pretty good track, and it’s indicative of what will be on the next Ultraklystron album/mixtape/8-track, whenever that happens. Oddly enough, I don’t think I make even one anime reference during the whole track.

Like I said, change.

I hate dongles, and yet Record 1.5 requires one or you’re stuck with internet verification (a problem if you’re mobile.) Had this been made more explicit when purchasing the software, I probably would have forgone buying it whatsoever. Anyways, I now have a liability stick I have to keep track of lest I have to be tethered to an internet connection to run software I own, legally, which they have the registration and purchase record of anyway. I truly and completely dislike it when the legit user who is trying to support the developer is the one treated like a criminal, while a cracked/hacked copy would give me normal, simple, non-babysat functionality. The software better be excellent, or I’m definitely switching to Reaper the second the copy-protection scheme of Record gets in the way of the process.

Seriously, they had a nice registration system for Reason (which they’ve kept for Reason 5,) so it’s beyond me why they’d get on the universally hated dongle system. Oh, they can call it an ignition key or whatever nonsense name they want, but at the end of the day, if I’d just stolen their software, I wouldn’t have a dongle to keep tabs on. Also, I wouldn’t have had to wait for said dongle to arrive in the mail to install the software. Bad enough to have the keys, and the hassle of registering once, but this? Like I said, I’m no longer a customer. Only thing a USB key should be used for in regards to retailing software is holding your software installs.

Similarly, while I very much doubt I’ll get an Ultraklystron-only album done anytime soon, helping Nursehella drop her debut and Rai Kamishiro on her sophomore album may only be the tip of the iceburg for recording-assistance/co-produced/production projects in 2011 as those should both ship in the first third of the year. If I’ve learned one thing from the past year, while I may not have the time to set aside for doing my own vocal work, I can still be decently productive with production and composition (it’s a great break between subjects.) I intend to ride that I think.

That said, once Nursehella’s voice recovers from the ATR show we saw, it’s down to brass tacks on her record. Granted, I’m just playing studio engineer and maybe doing some remixes (because everything needs a dubstep and/or drum n’ bass version by yours truly,) but I’m absolutely ecstatic to be helping her out with this. I think it’s going to be a really impressive release (though I am very, very, very biased.) 2011 or bust!

Also, I had some friends up here this weekend, and I have to say, for all the complaining I did early on about Vancouver, I do enjoy all the fun stuff I can do up here. When I finally wrap school a year or so from now, I’m going to really miss all the neat restaurants and stores and malls that are up here.

I just won’t miss the traffic and the freeway system.

I think I’ll feel better about this once I grab my spare netbook from home, and probably a few other odds and ends as well, but that doesn’t cover me 100 percent, and the fact is, I will never be as secure be up here as I am in Seattle. Sure, I can ultimately buy my way out of any problems, but the increased extent to which that is a necessity while I’m in Canada (rather one of many options) is something different for me, and something a little extra caustic when already having to pay for tuition and books. It all makes me feel a bit anxious, and that anxiety is probably the result of growing up in Microsoft’s backyard: I have been absolutely saturated with the expectation of having abundant, cheap technology, with plenty of friends with the same goods spare when ever a problem arises. Conversely, being without that safety net is surprisingly worrisome. If something breaks, I’m in it for 100 bucks, when even back home it’d only be only be 65, if not nothing. I mean, I wouldn’t even have a functional desktop right now if not for the pure luck of winning that PSU at PAX (and the hubris of bringing it up with me to Vancouver to sell on craigslist,) and so I’d either be over paying, or waiting to head down to Seattle while stumbling along on my netbook, which itself is prone to failure (already replaced it’s power adapter, and while the old one has been patched up, it’s nothing to rely on.)

I’m not really that stressed about it, but it’s a bit eye-opening. I’m not abusive of my gear, but it’s gotta be completely pampered now.

In other news, I’m really enjoying the coursework so far this semester. I’m finally into upper level stuff, and it brightens my spirits to be past a lot of the lower level filter stuff. I feel like I’m learning stuff I’ll use on a daily basis in the future.

Alas, I still get to be the first artist to drag the film to a halt with my artist spotlight section, where I look fatter, nerdier and younger than I do now. As always, I don’t belong on TV, though really, either the documentary got a lot of spit and polish on it, or I forgot a lot of little bits that even made my section of the film somewhat faster feeling (this is a very good thing.) The other artists sections also feel a lot faster paced as well. I think some of that is that there is footage shot even after the docs originally did the festival circuit now in the film, allowing for some faster cuts and more visual info to complement the narrative. The narrative also feels, well more complete. It feels like there is a lot more performance footage in it, especially for MC Frontalot, and even without an explicit interview of him in the film, it feels like he is, as is proper, fully depicted as the godfather of the genre now. Maybe the chance to go back and tweak the film after letting that era of nerdcore fall into the background was a good thing. Oddly enough, just as all of us in the film have honed our skills and flows, some how the film has become more sharp yet smooth as well. It’s a much, much better film than what was screened at STIFF and PAX, and I also have to say, I can’t help but smile whenever I see Nursehella and I on the screen at the same time in the documentary. I will show this film to our future children.

Still, watching this film for what I would like to be the last time for a very long while, I can’t help but feel as though I’m looking back on a past life. There was this bizarre time when I was a young otaku rapper/producer, and I had suddenly had many friends and acquaintances who were on a similar track. My recent trip to this year’s PAX reminded me that I clearly still have all those friends (well, at the very least, they don’t mind humoring me,) but yet, the era where I was really on the same path as them might as well be as distant as elementary school. while I’m sure the life I’m leading now (computer science student) will ultimately feel similarly distant to me once I graduate and work for a few years, Nerdcore For Life (and to a lesser extent Nerdcore Rising,) are the only external documentation of my life, and it only feels weirder to look back on the farther away I get from it. Don’t get me wrong, NC4L is a great documentary, and you should atleast NetFlix if you’re the kind of person who reads my blog and you’ve not seen it already. For everyone who still does it and love it, you should watch it and remember your roots. For everyone who wants to do it, you should watch it and know who built the bridge you now stand upon.

For people like me, who can’t even sell an mp3 when it’s half off, well, your time is better spent studying probably. Or producing for other people. I try to do both. Except for rewatching the right bits.

Good news: Have a rough (probably finished really) rap over a Childish Gambino track from me. Lyrics after the break.

lyrics:
criticize my end rhymes, hate that were related
this isn’t pretend time, i’m what you created
i am on my end times, i am so omega gone
splitting like it’s asus, guess i’m just pegatron
name’s not on the front, but my brand’s behind it
you digging these sounds? well, my plans defined it
you gigging around? best thank me post haste
you’re late to the field, you arrived post-race

i don’t need to be a writer or actor to do this;
i spit a couple bars, and the crowds ask “who this?”
a hundred thousand downloads before my diploma
you playback in slow speed, ya hustle’s in a coma
was only 15 bumping jungle and ragga
was only 22 when meeting gen fukanaga
how many of y’all met the head of funimation?
guess that’s just proof i live in a funny nation

i am the top cat to your dogs, all of you chase me
i sit around lazy, yet drive you all crazy
flip that i’m sporticus and you’re robbie rotten
i’m running strong, you’ll probably be forgotten
i am on my lo-cal, you’re about the jelly rolls
i am on my clean cut, your style is smelly mold
i’m living the extremes, your lifestyle is barely bold
i’m about the volume, your album has barely sold

and I’m so anon so fear and expect me
no feedback out there could direct me
post modern rapping preempting my critics
i know what i’m spitting here seems so acidic
but i’m the next jay-z with a side of neptunes
protege portfolio provided with hep tunes
and if you don’t feel this because of my vox
i’ll get out of the way and let my friends talk

Well, you have one. You don’t even need to register.

Speaking of the Geekly, they also did a podcast featuring an interview with myself amongst other awesome nerd musicians.

As to the other stuff? Well, I’m taking summer courses, so I’m staying quite busy. The secondary agenda to school will be helping Nursehella do vocals for her debut record. Considering how quickly Rai’s record went once it had a similar foreground priority, I think it’s gonna go well, and go fast.

More pressingly, regardless of which path of action is taken, I will feel some sense of loss. Either I am to relinquish my privacy to a stranger, so that I may know what my friends and acquaintances think of me, or I am forbidden from knowing information about myself. Some might argue I could always ask my friends what they said in a given, but on facebook, such connections are not always as strong as friendship, and even that still requires some exchange on my part. It reveals more directly to those people that I want to know what they think of me.

And well, I do want to know; such concerns are natural to human beings. However, I don’t wish to sacrifice anything personal to know such things. See blog title.