the past is unattainable / the future is unwritten

Posted on April 27th, 2008

Filed under: General — Karl Olson @ 3:36 am

So, I spent time today (when not selling monitors at work, chatting on the phone to Danielle, dropping Mathew off at a friend’s place nor napping as part of recovering from the ear/throat infection that requires huge Augmentin pills to fight it,) looking over old blogs and newsgroup entries, initially Danielle’s (she’s gone through my blogs and such, and I find that really sweet actually – she’s probably one of a handful of people, if not the only person by besides myself, who has) with her blessing/at her request. However, that kind of got me looking back at my own old entries in this blog, and it’s really well, sort of surprised me how much everything’s changed.

My old circles of friends have radically rearranged themselves, people have left, people have split off – sometimes under happy circumstances, sometimes under somewhat more dramatic ones. Many people who I thought would be key friends on into my old age have disappeared into the ether (ok, I’m sure I could e-stalk them and shoot ’em an email, but well, I don’t.) Shoot, even the places where I hang out have changed – my favorite arcade is long gone, the anime store I shop at has new owners and I stopped going to the anime club before I even had my AA done. I’ve gone from being a community college student cranking out his first nerdcore album and working on anime reviews to a community college graduate looking for a school to transfer to finish a 4-year-degree because he knows music is not as likely to pay the bills at the end of the day as a CS degree. I barely write for Toon Zone anymore – pretty much only doing con coverage because well, I do still go to cons, though even there, I’m not sure if the passion is there in the same way anymore. I went from being obscenely prolific as a musician to somewhat more constrained and picky to needing a break from it to sort of playing with it again, but as much more personal, hobby-like endeavor. I went from being a guy who kind of attempted dating a few times (and who failed hard at it,) to someone who has, barely, managed to maintain a very rewarding long-distance relationship with a wonderful, beautiful woman. In short, I’ve grown up a up a bit, but I still feel a bit like this Weezer refrain:

“The world has turned, and left me here.”

And well, some of things that have stayed stationary aren’t the things I would have wanted to stay still. I’ve certainly taken longer with school than I should have, and than I wanted to have – I’ll be lucky to finish my degree before the middle of 2010 – that’s 8 years for a 4-year-degree. Shows I blogged about over three years ago are still unlicensed, and well, I know by this point, in this industry where one major company is dead (Geneon) and another maybe on the brink (ADV,) they will probably never turn up legally in the US.

Of course, on the flipside, maybe not all that much has changed either. I may have a 90 something DVD backlog, but the fact is I drop in any of those discs, and I’m still enraptured by the content. Once I had the antibiotics in my system, I was gradually feeling ok enough to watch some Genshiken (the boxset of which I snagged back in 2007 at Kumoricon,) and well, it still speaks to me. I maybe less Sasahara now, and more Kousaka (except my girlfriend loves anime and games in addition to fashion,) but the emotional connection is still there. Additionally, between being laid up and reading those old blog posts, I can honestly say that while my circles of friends of have changed, what we do isn’t a whole lot different – we go to arcades (RIP Illusionz, Gameworks needs a Para Para machine,) we go to restaurants afterwords, we go to movies and we hang out. I may no longer be otaku or nerdcore TO THE EXTREME – I think 8 cons last year did some long term damage to all that, but the fact is that’s still a part of me.

And well, as I look to the future I know more will change. Before the end of 2008 I should be at or atleast accepted to a university to finish my degree, I’ll likely be out of my parents’ house, my parents might very well be in a new house, and well, as such, most every tie I have right now will probably be gone in the next year, atleast in a day to day sense. I’ll probably be in a new city, on my own, in a new school, making new friends, eating at new places, discovering new things. It’s sort of emotionally exhausting past a certain point as well, or atleast is to reflect on it. However, while it’s overwhelming, it’s because I know that by the time all is said and done, I’ll be a man with a degree, a real job (hopefully,) and well, that era of even relating to something like Genshiken or Honey and Clover or as anything more than “I can remember being that guy – that sucked/rocked” will be gone. At that point, as long as I can dodge relating to Koshiro from Koi Kaze, I’ve got it made.

Well, I’ll have it made if somethings don’t change, like Danielle. I doubt I’ll ever find another person who can jump between Aqua Teens, Loveless, Velvet Underground, xxxHolic, Harry Potter, Atlus games, Kanye West, Tim and Eric, hexidecimal HTML color jokes, internet memes and more. I’d venture that’s a pretty unique taste/interest set. And I hope for once, I keep in touch with atleast some of my current friends – I’ve known some of them for closing on 8 years now. That’s pretty much the longest I’ve known people. Maybe that’s a sign they’re worth knowing in the long term, even if they aren’t local to me anymore. I mean, it’s not like it’s hard to keep in touch in an era of constant connection to communication.

To future me, who will inevitably come back and read this blog post in a few years, you better have gotten off your can and done what you’ve gotta do. If you’re still working computer retail and living with your folks, you’re doing it wrong. Don’t “become an hero”, but recognize that you failed. FLUNKED, even. And yeah, I know those memes and references are dated future me, but don’t act like you didn’t laugh at it at the time. 😉

PS: Oh, technology’s gotten awesome since I’ve started writing a blog though, so that’s one change I’m all about no matter what. Yay for having a laptop with more power than the computer I wrote all of my pre-nerdcore music on (yet uses vastly less energy,) and then owning a desktop that’s several times more powerful than that, with the knowledge that by the time I’ll need to do an upgrade to my computer, I’ll probably be replacing it with something that uses half the wattage, yet provides me with about 16 times more processing capacity (if the program is multithreaded.) Oh, and multi-gigabyte flash media. 16 gigabytes for 50 dollars? Ah yeah…

I bet future me will be laughing at this point, as he reads this post on a solar-powered quantum computer with a holographic display and terabytes of hybrid flash/DNA storage.

🙂

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The MC stands for Michael Corleone

Posted on April 15th, 2008

Filed under: Music News — Karl Olson @ 1:16 am

Mega-Ran (aka Random,) nerdcore rapper extraordinaire and podcastman (yes, that’s a new made up word! use it annoy your friends who hate internet buzz words,) has fashioned a podcast featuring an interview Nerdcore Godfather, the honorable don MC Frontalot. Why is this of note beyond the obvious reasons? Because it also features music from me, namely “Five to Nine.” I recommend that people go for the Frontalot, and stay for the great podcastman (see, just like that) personalities, and top notch music selection which also includes luminaries like Beefy, YT Cracker and other people who are more talented than me (or are at least equivalently talented.)

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oh god how did I get here I am not good with celebrity

Posted on April 7th, 2008

Filed under: General,Music News — Karl Olson @ 11:48 pm

Two updates, in one day? Impossible! But yet, here we are as now Nerdcore For Life (aka the documentary about various nerdcore rappers than mostly about nerdcore godfather, MC Frontalot,) has premiered to the world, in the heart of America, Wisconsin. Here is a link to the relevant data and some reviews. Note the scans of print articles with my face in them. Yeah, it’s humbling. Maybe even unsettling. Mostly awesome though.

Edit/PS: The wordpress has been updated again. Hopefully I can make use of the gallery function sometime soon.

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eh makes nerdcore and doesn’t afraid of any beats.

Posted on April 7th, 2008

Filed under: Music News — Karl Olson @ 12:45 pm

Time for another Opensource Lyricist sighting, this time leading off Hi-Sci-Fi (a great radio show that interviewed me last year at SakuraCon, and whose co-host, Jevon Ryan, bought Opensource off of me at SakuraCon this year,) with my emo-tastic song “Hikikomori.” If you have not heard said song, here is an opportunity to do so.

Also, apparently, I’m “a cool guy” according to Jevon which explains the headline. Well, that and memes.

Anyways, I also want to thank everyone who said my cover EP was good/great/etc. Perhaps I shall return to that field at some point in the future.

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